Catching a Decent Fish -- Illustrated

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Tuesday, May 13. 2008

Not a rise...
If a friend hadn't assured me that this pool was the home of "some decent trout" I would have thought the water barren. Decent trout, indeed! But with that word "decent" came an epiphany - all my flies had been appealing to the trouts' sense of sight... but what about their sense of decency! These fish - if indeed they existed - had been blithely ignoring all my offerings. Surely, that was a shameful act from any "decent" trout!

With renewed energy, I positioned myself on a rock in mid-stream and began to regard the pool with disdain - then switched to moderate annoyance, accelerated through active pique, and arrived in seconds at a withering scorn.

Two minutes later, I saw a "nice" fourteen inch brown roll to the surface in humble chagrin... but I casually ignored him. A moment later a sixteen inch rainbow with a visible blush on its cheek wallowed in the tail of the pool. I glared at it with a Force Five Contempt - it gave a few feeble wiggles of its pectoral fin in mute apology and then died of shame. Rushing downriver, I netted my first "decent trout" as it drifted slowly by. My second fish, a very decent fifteen inch brookie, was taken on a single glance of reproach cast to the eddy behind a boulder.

Since then I have refined the practice, having learned the following:

Chub are delicate, very decent creatures, be wary of careless glowering unless you want to clean up a massive fish-kill.
Some people will ascribe decency to a trout simply because it is large. Cutthroat trout, on the other hand, are usually perfectly decent when young but by the time they are six inches or so, begin to live up to their name and are soon beyond remorse. I attribute this to a problem in the schools.

Recoil is to be expected.
Some fish are not susceptible to this approach. For example, Comely Shiners (Notropis amoenus) are narcissistic and untouched by the regard of others,

Black Crappie are beneath contempt, and Largemouth Bass, no matter what, are totally unabashed.
Northern Pike have been known to shed a tear of regret, but their sincerity is questionable.

Catch and release is not an option. They don't call it "mortification" casually - any truly decent trout who has once experienced near-fatal chagrin will never be the same. He will sink lower in the pool, leave school, begin to consort with suckers and other bottom-feeders, and eventually, consumed by remorse, be caught by a passing heron. I do not recommend this method of fishing as a frequent practice. Someone adept at this understands moderation - a river can be depleted of decent, humble, self-effacing trout within days. The wise angler follows the adage "A fish is too great a resource to be scorned - except in moderation."

Posted by Reed F. Curry in Fishing Humor at 03:57 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

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I tried this once. Out of desperation, mind you. However, the trout managed to turn the tables on me. While fastening a large brown with my best scornful glare, he glowered back at me with what could only be interpreted as overpowering, almost parental, reproach. He was plainly telling me that no "decent" fisherman would resort to such tactics. I'm ashamed to say that I wilted like fresh-cut garden greens under a hot Alabama sun. Perhaps I should have tried the tactic on fingerlings first. Clearly, on the basis of moral standing alone, trout of his stature are my betters. The plan is to immerse myself in politics for a season so as to learn how to properly fake moral indignation.

hawgdaddy

#1 hawgdaddy (Homepage) on 2008-05-15 13:36 (Reply)

Your tales are truely amazing and the Illustrations by Eric Reaves are some of the best fly fishing drawing I have ever run across. I'd mess my waders if a trout ever grabbed me by the chin like that.

#2 Vinatage Fly Fishing Collector (Homepage) on 2008-05-23 17:10 (Reply)

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